“When people ask, “How do I know I’m in love?” I say: What makes you happy? Most people assume the answer should be: her. But the answer should be: whatever makes her happy. To see her succeed, thrive, be delighted, delirious, if this thrills you, this is a sure sign of love.”

It was hot today. I made the right move to ran out of my lair.

The sun was out, the sky was clear, the wind was mild. It was bright, yellowy and nostalgic.  The whole building was covered in a golden shiny paint that hurt my eyes when i tried to look at it, hoping that the scene would brighten my heart for a moment.

Back then, one of my friends gave me this thingy, told me to try it for once, to see if i can take my pain away like it did to her.

Yesterday, I read a story about this person. He was so calm and wise for his age, to the point that he could not even have normal relationships, friends and what not.

In the end, he had everything a person would ever dream of. That person loves him as he is, no colouring, no pretending.

And there i stood, calmly. Looked at the cigarette, wondered if I really want to light it up.

I’ve been thinking intensively about myself, my ability, what i want, what i desire, what i have, what i should have, and what i would have.

Some how, i figured out, it’s best to be myself, to be a more mature version of me: calm and wise.

Experience sucks, period. Let me tell you, ignorance is bliss.

Seeing too much, been through things that most of people my age haven’t, i don’t think i’m proud of it.

And, yeah… I know, that is why our thinking will never be in sync.

I know, mate. I have to move on.

Because i will stand out.

Because i will change people’s life.

Because that’s the way it has to be.

The cigarette is till in the wallet, waiting.

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